Yes, it’s true. I’m not a natural blogger. I don’t really like the world to know everything I’m thinking all the time. And too, I really don’t have the time for it. But I enjoy it anyway.
So I am not the natural fit for the blogosphere, and cannot admit to the smug aura others tend to take on when they mention their blog. Despite the public nature of all this, I’d be surprised if I had more than two readers. Ah well.
So blogging, for me, usually happens when plunged into the rhythm and blues of rain. There’s something about rain that makes me want to write. But now, I just find myself unable to sleep and thus, the urge to write has overtaken me. Not just any writing, however.
I have an unfinished paper, a stubbornly enigmatic website to decipher, a presentation that needs some polishing, inexpensive grad schools to discover, and the knowledge that I must find 15 people to sign a piece of paper tomorrow. The writing that I apparently crave must be done right here. This strikes me as unnatural also.
If I may explain?
My day began much like a computer which runs a Windows operating system. I woke up at 3am, 5am, 6:40am, and finally 7:15am. As if the starts and restarts were not jarring enough, getting out the door for the somewhat unknown is always extremely difficult. I think if there were someone I could have asked to just give me a good swift kick, I likely would have been more eager to leave the comfort of my borrowed room. Thankfully, I didn’t have to make the walk alone and arrived in one piece.
It’s always so odd when I’m truly nervous about an event. I display no outward signs, no one really knows. I don’t shake like I used to (meaning my virbrato isn’t as good as it used to be), my voice doesn’t change pitch anymore, and I’m apparently quite composed. I alone am locked in with my inner-turmoil, and looking back, it seems quite silly to admit the extent to which I was nervous about this morning’s meeting. I think I just didn’t want to be remembered as the odd man out with the “great essay” and summarily dismissed. Belonging, I suppose, is quite important.
Next on the agenda? well, studying for one of the toughest professors on campus. There was an exam probably first written in 1972…no, no updates. Really, that’s all I should have to say. In fact, I could stop right here.
I did finally figure out the interconnectivity of the various functions on our brand new news website. Yes, I still have content to upload, but trying to design a start page and then four subpages and get auto content set up in a way that is easily editable…well, “easy” is not the word to use.
Anyway, everything else was just part of thursday behaving just like any other thursday. Meetings, work, homework, and bed. Yes, I think I’m finally starting to get a wee bit sleepy.
Perhaps this really does work.
